oh my god my cat farted on my bed but stuff came out i’m so disgusted right now

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tags: + cottontext + this is the third time this has happened so we might have to take her to the vet which would really suck




ok so I met Tommy Wiseau and asked for a cheek kiss pic and he got really into it. he asked if he’d met me before and i was like “yeah once, you made fun of me for being short.” and he just totally ignores that and goes “haha you’re so beautiful can I pick you up?”

so he picks me up and starts just swinging me in circles while there’s a huge line of people waiting and I didn’t know what to do so I started singing “you are my rose” at him

not sure what else i expected from tommy. he gave me a necklace though. it says “you’re good but be better”

My friend was held in tommy wiseau’s arms.

in the arms of an angel

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I highly recommend giving up music snobbery. It makes life 1000% more fun.

#liking things is just so much more fun than not liking things

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me: *doesn’t start hw until 10 pm*

me: *at 10:15 pm* i am dROWNing in sCHOOL work why do teachers do this to me I hATE THis cruel WORLD look at all of THE iNJUSTICE 

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not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

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(Source: fuckyeahhistorycrushes)

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like dont be a dick scoob

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(Source: otler)

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Reblog if your icon is a perfect person.
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Making fun of your internet friends like


(Source: agownofcoalandglowingflame)

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